Stroll Around Town

This was during the gingerbread fiasco. In fact- I will call him Gingerbread.

One night, I was studying for an exam or something and up really late. Gingerbread was always up late, something to compare to an owl at times. I needed a study break and he needed, well, anything to do because he was an owl.

I was a resident advisor at my college (a cool one, I swear!) and this was one of my night's off duty. During the summer, I had taken classes but lived off campus in a really awesome house in the historic part of town. (Historic part of town basically means everything is really old but you deal with it because you can walk to all the bars and to campus all within 5 minutes)

I decided to give Gingerbread a midnight tour of where I used to live. Once again, this is a really safe town. Midnight adventures were pretty normal here.

We start walking. First we went to the bay front to see if there were any dolphins, passed the city landmark and then to my old street. How I loved that street. So many memories...

But let's not go to the memories too soon. Later stories.

Back to what I thought was a safe town. About 1/3 of the way down, a random car slowly passes us and throws a water balloon out which busted at my feet. Great.

It gets better.

We are walking on my old street, almost at my old house, and three drunk dudes are walking towards us. The bars used to close at one here, so either they were trying to hit the bars before last call or were lost.

One of the guys looks at Gingerbread and says "Your boyfriend is a girl."

Gingerbreads response "You would know since you tried to kiss me last night."

WHAT?!?!

Of course none of this is true, girl or kissing part.

Two steps later I say, "That was not very smart, Gingerbread."

Three steps after I say that we hear drunk running behind us.

THE GUYS ARE TRYING TO CHASE US!

We sprint around the corner, outrunning these drunks guys, and find a pretty good sized tree with lots of shadows to hide us. (Stevie trained me in the art of hiding in shadows)

As we are hiding in someone's front yard for about ten minutes, all Gingerbread could say to me was "I am sooooo sorry. Sooooo sorry."

We never made it to my old house.

Worst Wingman Award Goes to...

My big brother.

Here are some quick classic stories/one liners.

End of freshman year in high school, I finally started to look... well, normal. I was actually a pretty cute girl, if I say so myself. I was on the track team and this senior had taken notice of me. I was just so dumbstruck by him (probably because he was older than me). He had wanted to ask me to the prom but he didn't. I was so upset because he clearly showed interest. His reasoning?

You guessed it! Big brother was a senior when he was a freshman and he was scared of him. Awesome.

My first real date comes around the end of sophomore year. It was with a guy I went to middle school with and had my first real crush on. Oh my gosh, it was so pathetic how much I liked this guy. My curfew was 11pm... my parents really trusted me, I guess. Not only do my parents have stalker photos of me and him buying our tickets at the theatre, my brother was waiting around the street corner to make sure I got home on time. 11pm on the dot my brother storms in the house to make sure I am there.

I had met this one guy at summer camp and he was pretty cool, I thought. I have a big brother nickname... Stevie. I am the only one to consistently only refer to him as this. I was telling my date all about Stevie and he came to pick me up. He goes up to big brother and says, "Nice to meet you, Stevie."

Stevie's response... "That's Steven to you."

21st birthday is the best one though. Stevie and all of his friends and my cousins took me out to celebrate. I was initiated into the real social world! Some of his guy friends who I had grown up with and slept over at our house all the time finally realized I was a girl... err... lady... err... whatever. Anyways, one of his friends was particularly friendly and wanted my number. Stevie went up to this friend of his and loudly yells,

"STOP HITTING ON MY SISTER!

Did you give him your number? Give me your phone!"

Thanks big brudder for always looking out for me.

I'm sure one day I will thank you for all the thoughtfulness you showed... :)

All the Single Ladies

I had just started seeing the guy from the good Valentine's date. His name shall be... Joey.

Joey and I had only been on a couple of dates, none of them alone- all with family, still. Poor guy. Seriously. I think the only alone time we had at this point was at the movies and I made him watch "He's Just Not That Into You". Possible omen?

Joey was going to a wedding with my big cousin. He had already asked someone to go with him before we started "dating/talking/whatevering." I wasn't really upset because I can understand that these things happen.

The day of the wedding, his wedding date cancelled or got called in to work or something. Joey called me last minute and told me to wear something pretty.

I immediately went into power shopping mode and bought a hot slinky black dress and it's still my favorite dress to this day. (I even wore it on the red carpet at my summer internship in France- it is ridiculous.) Then I bought some black flats to go with it because Joey is maybe half an inch taller than me and I don't like towering over guys (and I never tower over guys; I'm 5'6).

My cousin, his girlfriend at the time, Joey and I all carpool to the wedding. I was so excited to be going and the whole ceremony was gorgeous.

The reception was absolutely beautiful and great food. Not a real hoppin party, though. We had met up with two other couples about our age and we were the ones getting the party started. (This was a fairly young couple's wedding, but I guess they invited a bunch of older guests...)

It came time for the bouquet toss. My cousin's girlfriend, our friend who was in a serious relationship, and I went out to join the group of single ladies.

Now, since I found out what the bouquet toss means, I've never really been someone who wants to catch it. I'm not in any serious relationship and I don't want to mess with some of these crazy girl's heads that believe this stuff and will fight me for the bouquet. No thanks.

I stand in the back not really paying attention.

The bride tosses the bouquet.

IT LANDS ON THE GROUND IN FRONT OF ME

and I refuse to touch it.

The girl in the serious relationship makes a mad dash for it and practically jumps on it- she gets the bouquet.

She is now getting married this summer.

Congratulations to her.

I was not going to touch that bouquet EVER.

Flash Date

Probably the most random "date" ever. I'm not even sure what to call it but it was really fun whatever it was.

I was sitting alone in this little cafe across from my college people watching. That evening, I was driving to a nearby city to visit some friends and go to a concert, but they were still in class so I was just killing time and walking around town. (My foreign friends say they like it here because it's like our town has a city center where everyone can gather and walk and there's only pedestrian traffic.)

While waiting, I was talking to the guy behind the counter who I have become friends with over the years since I came there all the time. His friend came in and plopped himself right down at my table and immediately starts teasing me for 1. sitting alone and 2. ordering something from the breakfast menu at 4pm. He was pretty funny and cute and hey, it's not like he was interrupting anything.

We'll call him Louis. Louis is spanish and has a thick accent which I think he purposely keeps to woo the ladies.

Louis grabbed my hand and said,

"Hey chica, let's go for a ride on my scooter! I'll bring you back here in time to leave for your friends."

I had just met this guy maybe fifteen minutes ago. I looked at his friend and said,

"If you don't see me for a few days, tell the police this kids name."

And then I left with this guy I didn't know on the back of his scooter.

We drove all around the city and found a fair- he even won me a stuffed dragon!

Then we drove around the historic city houses for a while... and he dropped me off right where we started.

It was pretty amazing. Truthfully, I have never heard from him again; but you know what? that's okay. It is probably in my top five favorite random moments in life. Good for Louis. Hope you're doing well.

I was leaving for France the next week or so, and my mom was so worried I would hop on some French boys scooter that I didn't know. Before I left she warned,

"You can't just go hopping on cute boy's scooters, you know?!?!"

Why the Long Face?

My sophomore year of college in the fall, I was still dating Jimmy. Things were going incredibly sour and just plain awful at this point, but I really felt trapped. Until I met my best friend who I may name a child after for saving me (but maybe not so don't get your hopes up, buddy).

We are going to call him Linus. Hahaha he will hate that. Oh well. I haven't asked him for permission so until I do- Linus it is.

Linus is from Ireland and I swear the only reason we are still friends is because I can't understand half of what he says to me- especially when we first met. Oh my gosh, who knows what I agreed to those first few weeks after we met.

The way we met is probably the best description of our friendship, too.

We were in our first real production class together in college and were placed in the same group for a studio shoot. I had been voted as director of the project (one girl in our class wanted to be director who, while I'm sure she would've gotten the job done, wasn't quite responsible enough to do it, so somebody pointed at me and said, "I vote Sara."). Ever since this project, I knew that somehow I wanted to direct movies. And dang it, I WILL!

Anyways...

During this studio project, people forgot to bring their reels of tape in for the final project, the script never got wrote, and people didn't show up for rehearsal. Awwwesome. I could only do so much without that stuff and I was so nervous. This was a huge grade and the professor told me to understand that most likely, the class would give me a bad grade just because I was the director if they did poorly in the class. Comforting words.

At the end of a rehearsal- where none of this stuff was present!- I sat on the stage. I looked around, and nobody was there. Everybody had gone. I put my head in my hands and just started crying. This was going to be a disaster. Nobody was helping me.

"Hello? I left me bag in here. I'm sorry, I don't know your real name. I've just been calling you Ms.Director Ma'am."

Oh my gosh, Linus had walked in on me in a huge mental break down. And didn't know my name, apparently.

Now Linus was a pretty popular guy at our school. Star soccer player, foreign, and not too bad looking, either. And here I was, resident advisor, student government chair, kind of a geek, sobbing on the stage.

"I'm (hiccup) Sara (hold back sob). This is a disasterrrrr!"

Linus fixed everything. He called his people, found a camera, and the next night, with one of our other studio hands, we filmed the entire reel, wrote a script, and wrote down stage directions.

And that's how our relationship has been since then. Blowing fires out for the other.

Linus was my neighbor senior year. I frequently stayed on his couch during the summer and brought him and his roommate dinner a few times.

This is the guy that saved me from what could have been the dumbest mistake of my life. I have to explain him so people can understand me.

Oh, and Why the Long Face?... that was our production title for the studio project. Fitting, huh? I also got a 10/10 grade from my peers. Not too bad for my first directing, gig.

So thanks for being my best friend, Linus :) Hope this doesn't embarrass you!

I'm Dangerous

I have decided to use names for people- but not real names obviously except for the ones that give me permission. Soooo, maybe one or two people.

This date is about strep throat Valentine's Day guy. We are going to call him Jimmy.

Part of freshman orientation at my college is being able to go to a theme park about 2 hours away with the rest of the freshman, some college administration, and the student government and a couple of club leaders.

Jimmy and I basically met on the bus. We had previously met the day I moved in when he helped me carry tons of my stuff to my room which was up a flight of stairs and at the very very very end of the hall. I didn't really talk to him then since I was caught up in the excitement.

Anyways, Jimmy and I exchanged numbers on the way to the park and never really ran into each other though we kept texting trying to find each other. (I did meet my best friends on this trip, though and I am still close with them. One of them passes as my cousin and wing lady when we hang out).

Finally, we all leave and I of course go on the same bus Jimmy is on and find a seat right next to him. Jimmy is a junior and I am this tiny little freshman- seriously though, I was small. I ran in high school and was still a pretty active runner. Jimmy asked me to dinner that night and I obviously said yes.

Straight off the bus we went to a pizza joint that was in walking distance of the school. I was still wearing the park trip shirts and probably smelled disgusting- truthfully, I'm still shocked he didn't say anything.

After pizza we went for a quick drive to the beach. The beach had (and continues) serious erosion going on at the time. There was about a 4 foot sand drop from the initial time you got to the beach. Then, you didn't have to walk down steps to get to the beach but now, the bulkhead is completely exposed and you have to walk about 15 feet down to the sand and the tide comes all the way. It's pretty bad and we're lucky we don't get too many hurricanes... The first part actually applies to the story, the second part is just my concern for my favorite city.

This was the first time I had seen the beach here since I was little and was shocked to see the sand drop. Jimmy wanted to romantically next to the water so he tried to help me down. I don't really like being helped with silly things like that because I am not a damsel in distress- so I did it myself.

As I am trying to walk down this thing, I slipped.

On my way down

I accidentally punched him in the nose.

He said he woke up the next day with a bit of a bruise and blood all over his pillow. We seriously should have taken that for a sign and just stayed as friends. But that would have been too easy.

Best pick-up line...

...Ever.

Background first.

I once sort of dated a guy who only dated red heads and strawberry blondes. I qualified for his specific hair criteria and we started sort of seeing each other.

One night, we both were out at a party with my roommates and our mutual friends. (I don't know how it happened but my group of girlfriends were all "dating" a group of guy friends. It made date night easy.) Anyways, we are at this party...

Everybody is playing corn hole and somebody made bbq (this is the south!) and there was music and dancing and lots of fun to be had. My man friend drank a little bit too much. He had a pretty small frame and couldn't really drink a lot. I didn't drink anything that night because 1. I was under 21 and didn't really drink much at this time (if you were one of my roommates shut up... I know there was that oooone time you forced shots down my throat and then sent me to bed almost immediately after. jerks. love you, though :) )and 2. I knew someone was going to need a DD that night... just had a feeling.

At this point in our "fake dating relationship" I wasn't really feeling it anymore. I had started to move on to another guy. I have been told I am awful at dating. This is true. I think I'm great at relationships, but actually getting there is a serious struggle for me.

So my fake boyfriend needed a ride... And who does everybody point to? Me. Duh. Of course. Does my fake boyfriend want to go? Not really. He is making a bit of a fool out of himself and I couldn't let him do that. I knew how to get him home, but I didn't want to do it, yet knew I had to. I used my female sneakiness.

"If I drive you home, there is a 50% chance I'll let you kiss me"

He took the bait. Jumped in the car and made me book it to his place.

I never got out of the car, never kissed him. I am an awful fake girlfriend.

Interestingly enough, I have used that line again and it always works. Drunk guys are not always the smartest...

Anyways, we are in the car and before he leaves he says...

"I'll never get tired of counting the freckles on your face."